what we do with our time 

what we do with our time

fritter it away, that's one thing. you can't deny a thing goes down easier when fried and sugared. for instance, tonight, we make valentines. for people that please us (see "diatribes and manifestos"), and for people who used to, and no longer are available. we aren't afraid of our broken hearts, but we are afraid of our selves, at least in the singular.

sometimes we bide it. that's harder than you think-- you have to hold your mouth in this very exhausting way that others think is relaxed, and hope you are fooling them.

sometimes we kill it. that tends to scare people (see first and one of few comments in earliest posts). dead time sits very uncomfortably on the chests of those who believe they know what to do with it.

sometimes we wait for it. hearts all pumped up expectant and therefore close to bursting. this is when we get ready for the breaking.

sometimes, after it has come, we smoke cigarettes and look at the ceiling---