confession as path to truth
st. augustine said that-- or at least it was one path to truth--
thinking about blogging and why we do it-- and i think it goes back to the part about wanting to be known. it's a funny thing, because i am somewhat careful here about some details, because i don't know who sees it. i started this because i wanted to share some writing i had done in a virtual community without having to worry that others in that community might not want to share theirs. that, and i liked the idea of having one place it was all stored. i haven't put a lot of what i've written on here. some things don't bear repeating, and others are too personal for what i've come to see as a sometimes public place. at first i thought only those with whom i've shared the address would find this. but i see (referencing the paris-hilton-sex-robot) that i don't control that after all. so i start to censor, which is both good and bad.
that's the very odd thing about the web. we can find things out about people we might never otherwise, even (or maybe especially) if we knew them in the real world. it's a safe place to let your vulnerabilities out. that probably answers the question of why so many of the blogs are about people's deep deep sadness, fears or anger.
it also leads to lots of potential dangers, of presumed intimacy without responsibility--
a topic for another day.
back to the wanting to be known. i think most of us have a voice we identify with as True-- and we want it not only heard, but validated-- i know for me that's why i show my writing to some. i want people to say --that makes sense to me-- or even-- yuck, and i still love you. the latter is really important if they claim to know me well. like most everybody, there are bits i hold in reserve and very, very few will see me in all dimensions. it's about safety, and about having some retreat. i do know that the person in the world who knows and loves me best has seen all of it and didn't walk away. that's an amazing healing experience.
a long time ago there was a project through-- i think-- a mag called whole earth review. it was a phone number called the apology line. the guy who put it up was astounded with its popularity. i'd bet there are a hundred or more similar deals on the web now. we like to confess. we like to be fully known, even our shameful secrets, if only to a piece of paper or a prayer or an anonymous phone line. we also like redemption--
steve, matt-- thanks for your comments and your support-- i don't know what you find here that you like, but i'm glad you do. i have stumbled on others words that touched off little ripples in me, and it's nice to know i can return the favor once in a while.
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